A Diagnosis Performer(s): Rebecca Bunch — First Appearance: "Josh is Irrelevant" Written by: Rachel Bloom and Adam Schlesinger
Summary[]
Doc, prescribe me my tribe, give me my throng tell me that this whole time I’ve belonged with those other people who share my diagnosis.
— Rebecca, “Josh is Irrelevant”
“A Diagnosis” is a musical number performed by Rebecca Bunch. It’s a song in which Rebecca hopes her latest doctor, Daniel Shin, can provide new insight and classification of her psychological affliction. This song debuted in the Season Three episode "Josh is Irrelevant.”
Song and lyrics[]
Lyrics:
Rebecca: For almost 30 years I’ve known something was wrong. But mom said weakness causes bloating so I tried to be strong. Fake it till you make it that’s how I got by.
And when I tried to find the reason for my sadness and terror all the solutions were trial and error. Take this pill, say this chant, move here for this guy...
But now there’s no need for regret ‘cause I’m about to get....
A diagnooooooosis! A diagnooooooosis! Don’t tell me nooooooo sister, you don’t fit in!
Doc, prescribe me my tribe give me my throng tell me that this whole time I’ve belonged with those other people who share my diagnosis.
What could it be? What could be right? Schizophrenic or bi-polar lite? I’ve never heard voices but maybe it’s time to start.
Voices:
You’re super cool, Rebecca!
Rebecca:
Thanks!
Obsessives with numbers, hoarders with cats I could really rock a tin foil hat. Perfect they’re not but at least they know who they are. No more bad pills, fads or tricks. Who says there isn’t an easy fix?
With a diagnooooosis I’m ready to blooooooooow this... joint and by joint I mean my inner sense of confusion.
Voices:
You said that confusingly.
Rebecca:
Shh!
I’m aware mental illness is stigmatized but the stigma is worth it if I’ve realized who I’m meant to be armed with my diagnosis.
Oh, the doctors that I’ve met who didn’t get me this one Naturopath used feathers to pet me.
They said anxiety insomnia were my affliction. the Naturopath said it was sex addiction. But all those things I knew I wasn’t Yes I like penises but who doesn’t...
So put me in a bottle slap a label on.
List out the side effects then worries be gone. ‘cause finally I’ll know this...
