Etta Mae's Lament Performer(s): Rebecca Bunch — First Appearance: ""I'm Finding My Bliss"" Written by: Rachel Bloom & Adam Schlesinger
I'm angry and pleased and a little bit diseased but you can cure my ills with a husband!
— Rebecca, "I'm Finding My Bliss"
"Etta Mae's Lament" is a musical performance by Rebecca Bunch. Its a song from the classic musical "Saloon Nights And Injun Fights." In it the character Rebecca portrays is a whore house madam who is willing to give up prostitution if it means finding a husband to settle down with. Its first appearance was in the Season Four episode "I'm Finding My Bliss."
The song with lyrics
I'm the local lady of the evening
and though I like my men and my booze
I pray to above that I’ll find true love
but no one wants a lady who’s used!
Oh, can someone lasso me a husband?
I'm nothing without a husband!
The menfolk give me a dollar and a smile
but that don’t lead to walkin’ down the aisle!
Hey, cowboy, can you lasso me a husband?
(though my lover count is over a dozen)
Yes, the kissin’ is fun and the wine is sweet
but what Ireally want at night is to rub a farmer’s feet!
Get me off of my back
and standin’ up straight
so I can be the type of lady that you’re not ashamed to date
get me out of the cathouse
and into a kitchen
I'll wear white and pray to martyrs
I'll trade in my guns and garters
‘Cause there are only two types of women
me and virgins you commit to
Can someone lasso me a husband?
Why are you all being so stubbin’?
I'm angry and pleased
and a little bit diseased
but you can cure my ills with a husband!