"Greg's Drinking Song" is a musical number performed by Greg Serrano with accompaniment by his friends. In the song he talks about his history of alcoholism and how he is taking steps to overcome his addiction. His crew and even his boss Kevin joins in to remind him of other past drunken incidents which he is unable to recall. The song's first appearance was in the Season Two episode "When Will Josh See How Cool I Am?".
Song and lyrics[]
Lyrics:
Greg:
Gather ye 'round
And I'll tell you a tale
Of all the great times
I've had with an ale
There's joy and there's glory
More than you can think
Yes this is what happens to me
When I drink!
I pee my pants!
My pants!
I pee my pants!
I get up from the bar
To find pee on my pants!
I say it's water
but all it takes is a glance
For people to realize
I pee my pants!
White Josh:
Wow, I did not know it was that bad.
Greg:
Yes wine can be fun
White, Rosé and Red
'Till I call up my boss
To say I wish he was dead!
Chase down the regret
With some gin for good luck!
Then steal my cousin Jim's
Landscaping truck!
Drive home then
I puke on my cat!
My cat!
I puke on my cat!
I fall through the doorway
And puke on my cat!
Poor little Bruno
Did not expect that!
I tried for the toilet
But puke on my cat!
While some can enjoy
A scotch with a steak
Or one glass of wine
Then they're barely awake.
For me it's much different
What happens when
I try to have one
It just turns into ten.
And then...
I fly a plane!
A plane!
I fly a plane!
I knock on the cockpit
Shouting
"I'll fly this plane!"
We emergency landed
The TSA came
Now I'm banned from Southwest
Cause I try to fly planes!
EVERYBODY!
Everyone:
He has sex with a bush!
A bush!
He has sex with a bush!
Greg:
That wasn't a woman?
Everyone:
No it was a bush!
It had twigs and leaves
Cause it was a bush!
Greg:
That's where that scar comes from!
Everyone:
From sexing a bush!
But he's breaking the cycle
And making a push!
He's quitting his drinking
And saving his
Pants and his
Cat and
Southwest and
Jim's truck
Hector:
And my car
White Josh:
My car too!
Everyone:
And a bush!
Josh:
I didn't do anything wrong! YES!
White Josh:
Again, not about you.
Trivia[]
The song was one of the harder ones for Schlesinger, Dolgen and Bloom to write. They threw around the chorus idea of "I shit my pants", but eventually settled on "I pee my pants" for the broadcast.
David Hull (White Josh) celebrated his birthday on the day of filming.
