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I Am Ashamed

I Am Ashamed
◀️ Previous episode  CXG episode gallery  ▶️ Next episodeEpisode information 🔽️
Director: Audrey WauchopeWriter: Erin Ehrlich
Aired: 10/19/18 — Season: 4 — Episode: 2 — Nielsen ratings:
Description: Rebecca convinces Paula, Heather and Valencia to participate in a séance after making a spooky discovery. Darryl takes his parenting duties to an extreme, while Nathaniel is determined to prove to his father that he is the best person to run the law firm.

Plot[]

Rebecca is decorating her house for Halloween when Paula arrives with news about an online editorial about her friend's recent release from prison. It criticizes Rebecca being free despite a documented history of mental illness and past crimes. Because of this Rebecca spends three days reading the comment section which is full of negative remarks. Heather tries to encourage her to move past it reminding Rebecca about tickets they have to see a special screening of "Hocus Pocus." Over at the park, Darryl brought his baby daughter Heabecca to a meeting of the Wee Covina’s parenting group. From the other parents Darryl learns about the benefits of breast milk over formula.

At the law firm, Nathaniel shows up to work disheveled after having been on break for weeks. Paula chastises his disappearance which hurt business since Darryl, Rebecca and Jim have been absent as well. Nathaniel then notices his father is here and talking to Bert, the firm’s silent partner. Nathaniel Senior asked Bert, who has a law degree, to step in and run the office. Nathaniel objects but his father insists believing his son is having a mental breakdown. Meanwhile, Rebecca is ashamed her past was exposed and doesn’t want to be judged by everyone in town. She tries and fails to leave the house even after receiving a personal message from Kathy Najimy sent to her by Heather (♫ Time To Seize The Day ♫).

In her room, Rebecca talks to Dr. Akopian on her laptop and her therapist suggests they talk face to face. A loud noise distracts Rebecca who finds a West Covina history book had been knocked off the shelf. The text detailed the multiple deaths in the house Rebecca is living in which involved a college student named Devon Lee caught in the crossfire of a drug deal gone bad. Rebecca shows this book and points out moaning sounds in the house to Heather and Hector as evidence of a haunting. Rebecca believes the ghost of Devon is trying to communicate with her. The next day Rebecca invites Valencia over since she believes in the occult and they decide to hold a seance to communicate with Devon.

Over at Darryl’s apartment he helps his daughter Madison prepare for Halloween before his ex-wife Stacy picks her up. When they leave Daryl goes online to look for breast milk for his baby. He asks WhiJo to look after Heabecca while he purchases some supplies. Meanwhile, Nathaniel is at work annoyed at Bert being in charge and his employees celebrating the holiday. That night at Rebeccas house Valencia and Rebecca are joined by Heather and Paula to do a seance. At Home Base, Nathaniel meets up with an investigator who has dirt on Bert. Back at Darryl’s apartment, Josh stops by with a costume for Heabecca. WhiJo calls Darryl who has been searching neighboring towns trying to obtain breast milk.

At the seance, the women are startled when the table levitates and the power goes out. The outage takes place across town including Darryl’s apartment where he’s returned with a supply of breast milk and also at the firm where Nathaniel tells his father about Berts checkered past. Nathaniel Senior was already aware and placed Bert in charge to pull his son out of his current malaise. Back at the seance, the power returns and Rebecca sees her laptop opened to Devon’s Facebook page. She takes this as sign to visit the deceased students grave. Meanwhile, Stacy and Madison return to Darryl’s apartment. Stacy tells ex-husband that being a great parent to his baby is more important than what he feeds it.

Over at the cemetery, the Gurl Group finds Devon's gravestone and Rebecca speaks to Devon, and to herself, about moving on from past mistakes. Graveyard security J. Castleman appears and sympathizes with Rebecca's plight (♫ The Cringe ♫). The following morning at the law firm, Bert tells Nathaniel he intends to stay. As majority shareholder Bert refuses Senior's orders and also changed the firm’s name as well. That night, Rebecca joins her friends at Home Base where Heather explains ther supernatural experience. A wad of tampons Rebecca clogged the pipes with flooded the house with steam which knocked the book off the shelf, caused the table to float and also creates moaning noises.

Recurring themes[]

Songs[]

Episode songs

Debuts:

Meet Rebecca

"Meet Rebecca!"
Performed by: TBA
Writers: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger
The fourth and final theme song.

Time to Seize the Day

"Time To Seize The Day"
Performed by: Rebecca Bunch
Writers: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, Adam Schlesinger, Michael Hitchcock, & Erin Ehrlich
Rebecca struggles to get motivated.

The Cringe

"The Cringe"
Performed by: J. Castleman, Rebecca, Valencia, Heather and Paula.
Writers: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, & Adam Schlesinger
Castleman explains the embarrassing moments he calls "The Cringe."


Continuity[]

Continuity lists
Narrative
Continuing or debuting plot points:
  • Continuation:
  • Callbacks:
    • Paula says: "He's the new guy, I don't trust him" which is a reference to a song "He's The New Guy".
    • Rebecca buys tickets for "Hocus Pocus". The film was previously mentioned in a song "Friendtopia".
  • Plot points:
  • Relationship developments:
  • Rebecca references the title of the episode when she's at Devon's grave saying "Devon, I know what it's like to feel ashamed. And I know that it's easier sometimes to just dwell in that shame rather than move on." Earlier in the episode Paula also points out that Rebeçca's ashamed to leave the house.
People
Recurring or debuting characters:
Places
Recurring or debuting places:
Things
Recurring or debuting things:

Notes[]

Trivia[]

In the last part of this episode when the Gurl Group is at Home Base a male background extra can be seen walking by in four different camera angles of the same scene. This occurs right after Heather tells the others the truth about the supernatural phenomenon they experienced. The extra is wearing a blue shirt and in three of those shots he is looking directly at all the women seated at the table. After his first appearance Paula seems to react disgusted by his unwanted attention.



Blue shirt extra
Someone seems thirsty and not just for something to drink.


Episodes[]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Episodes
veSeason One Episodes
Michael McDonald as Darryl Whitefeather    "Pilot" N/A
Directed by: Marc Webb - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna and Rachel Bloom

New York attorney Rebecca Bunch moves to West Covina to pursue her ex-boyfriend Josh Chan.

1x1 main photo    "Josh Just Happens to Live Here!" October 12, 2015
Directed by: Marc Webb - Written by: Rachel Bloom & Aline Brosh MCKenna

New York lawyer Rebecca Bunch makes an impulsive decision to move to West Covina, California.

1x2 main photo    "Josh's Girlfriend is Really Cool!" October 19, 2015
Directed by: Don Scardino - Written by: Rachel Bloom & Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca unexpectedly bonds with Valencia much to the dismay of Josh and Paula.

1x3 main photo    "I Hope Josh Comes to My Party!" October 26, 2015
Directed by: Tamra Davis - Written by: Rachel Bloom & Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca thows a party in order to get quality time with Josh.

1x4 main photo    "I'm Going on a Date with Josh's Friend!" November 2, 2015
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Erin Ehrlich

Greg asks Rebecca out on a date while Josh hopes to land the job of his dreams.

Josh and I Are Good People! main photo    "Josh and I Are Good People!" November 9, 2015
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle - Written by: Michael Hitchcock

Rebecca goes to extremes to prove Greg that he's wrong about her being a terrible person.

My First Thanksgiving With Josh! main photo    "My First Thanksgiving With Josh!" November 23, 2015
Directed by: Joanna Kerns - Written by: Rene Gube

Rebecca gets invited to Josh's family Thanksgiving dinner where she hopes to impress his parents.

I'm So Happy That Josh is So Happy main photo    "I'm So Happy That Josh Is So Happy!" November 28, 2015
Directed by: Lawrence Trilling - Written by: Sono Patel

Rebecca becomes depressed after Josh and Valencia move in together.

My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves! main photo    "My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!" November 30, 2015
Directed by: Steven Tsuchida - Written by: Rachel Specter & Audrey Wauchope

Rebecca's mother visits; Greg and Heather go to Christmas dinner with his mother and step family.

I'm Going to the Beach with Josh and His Friends! main photo    "I'm Going to the Beach with Josh and His Friends!" November 30, 2015
Directed by: Kenny Ortega - Written by: Dan Gregor & Doug Mand

Rebecca rents a party bus to hang out with Josh and his friends at the beach.

I'm Back at Camp with Josh main photo    "I'm Back at Camp with Josh!" February 1, 2016
Directed by: Michael Shultz - Written by: Jack Dolgen

Rebecca volunteers at a youth camp with Josh; Darryl invites Greg, Hector and White Josh over to his place for a party.

1x11 main photo    "That Text Was Not Meant for Josh!" February 8, 2016
Directed by: Daisy Meyer - Written by: Elisabeth Kiernan Averick

Rebecca accidentally sends a text meant for Paula concerning Josh to Josh himself.

Queso    "Josh and I Work on a Case!" February 22, 2016
Directed by: Steven Tsuchida - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna & Rachel Bloom

Rebecca recruits Josh to help work on a case.

1x13 Promotional photo 5    "Josh and I Go to Los Angeles!" February 29, 2016
Directed by: Michael Patrick Jann - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca faces off against her New York rival Audra Levine.

Josh is Going to Hawaii! Main photo    "Josh is Going to Hawaii!" March 6, 2016
Directed by: Erin Erhlich - Written by: Sono Patel

Rebecca is convinced by Paula to chase after Josh who is going to Hawaii.

1x15 Promotional photo 4    "Josh Has No Idea Where I Am!" 3/21/16
Directed by: Steven Tsuchida - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna and Rachel Bloom

While on a plane trip Rebecca has a therapy session with Dr.Akopian.

1x16 Promotional photo 5    "Josh's Sister is Getting Married!" 3/28/2016
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle - Written by: Audrey Wauchope and Rachel Spector

Rebecca is asked to be a bridesmaid in Josh's sisters wedding.

1x17 Promotional photo 6    "Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?" 4/11/2016
Directed by: Joanna Kerns - Written by: Jack Dolgen

Paula suspects Rebecca of having a steamy affair and Josh is upset when he discovers who that is with.

1x18 Promotional photo 9    "Paula Needs to Get Over Josh!" 4/18/2016
Directed by: Aline Brosh McKenna - Written by: Rene Gube

Relationships are forever changed at Jayma Chan's wedding.

CharactersSongsLocationsCast
ve Season Two Episodes
2x1 Promotional photo 10    "Where Is Josh's Friend?" October 21, 2016
Directed by: Marc Webb - Written by: Rachel Bloom & Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca and Josh continue their new relationship as Greg goes missing.

2x2 Promotional photo 1    "When Will Josh See How Cool I Am?" October 28, 2016
Directed by: Jay Chandrasekhar - Written by: Rene Gube

Rebecca plays table tennis to impress Josh as Greg tries to adjust to his new path in life.

2x3 Promotional photo 6    "All Signs Point to Josh...Or is it Josh's Friend?" 11/4/16
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Wauchope and Specter

Both Rebecca and Paula struggle with a big decision in thier personal lives.

2x4 Promotional photo 1    "When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?" 11/11/2016
Directed by: Paul Brigantine - Written by: Erin Ehrlich

Rebbeca tries to reinvent herself in the wake of losing both Greg and Josh.

2x5 Promotional photo 1    "Why Is Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Eating Carbs?" 11/18/16
Directed by: Erin Erlich - Written by: Sono Patel

Rebecca tries to make amends with Valencia.

2x6 Screencap 1.jpg    "Who Needs Josh When You Have a Girl Group?" 12/2/2016
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Jack Dolgen

Rebecca, Paula, Heather and Valencia have a girls night out.

Who's the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating?    "Who's the Cool Girl Josh Is Dating?" 12/9/2016
Directed by: Jude Weng - Written by: Michael Hitchcock

Rebecca and Valencia team up to investigate Josh's new girlfriend.

2x7 Main photo    "Who Is Josh's Soup Fairy?" 1/6/17
Directed by: Linda Mendoza - Written by: Rachel Specter and Audrey Wauchope

Paula has Rebecca look after her son Tommy.

2x8 main photo    "When Do I Get to Spend Time With Josh?" 1/13/17
Directed by: Kabir Akhtar - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna and Rachel Bloom

Whitefeather & Associates gets a new boss.

2x10 Promotional photo 5    "Will Scarsdale Like Josh's Shayna Punim?" 1/13/17
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle - Written by: Dan Gregor and Doug Mand

Rebecca returns to Scarsdale.

2x11 Promotional photo 13 edit    "Josh Is the Man Of My Dreams, Right?" 1/20/17
Directed by: Michael Patrick Jann - Written by: Elisabeth Kiernan Averick

Rebecca and Nathaniel get to know each other better.

2x12 Promotional photo 3    "Is Josh Free in Two Weeks?" 1/27/2017
Directed by: Alex Hardcastle - Written by: Katie Schwartz

Nathaniel's father visits the law firm as Rebecca gets stressed out.

Can Josh Take A Leap Of Faith?    "Can Josh Take A Leap Of Faith?" 2/3/17
Directed by: Aline Brosh McKenna - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna

Unexpected life changing moments happen on Rebecca and Josh's wedding day.

CharactersSongsLocationsCast
veSeason Three Episodes
3x1 Promotional photo 1    "Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Wants Revenge." 10/13/17
Directed by: Erin Ehrlich - Written by: Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca is looking to make Josh pay for leaving her at the altar.

3x2 Promotional photo 13    "To Josh, With Love." 10/20/17
Directed by: Kabir Akhtar - Written by: Rachel Specter and Audrey Wauchope

Rebecca, unsatisfied with Paula's ideas to build a case against Josh, turns to Nathaniel for help crafting a truly evil plan. Meanwhile, Josh finds becoming a priest is harder than he thought.

Josh Is a Liar    "Josh Is a Liar." 10/27/17
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Michael Hitchcock

Rebecca starts a smear campaign to discredit Josh before he can turn everyone against her.

Josh’s Ex-Girlfriend is Crazy    "Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Is Crazy." 11/3/17
Directed by: Joseph Khan - Written by: Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosch McKenna

Rebecca is confronted by her friends about her recently uncovered history.

I Never Want to See Josh Again    "I Never Want to See Josh Again." 11/10/17
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Jack Dolgen

Rebecca returns to Scarsdale after hitting rock bottom.

Josh is Irrelevant    "Josh is Irrelevant." 11/17/17
Directed by: Max Winkler - Written by: Ilana Peña

Rebecca tries to recover from a suicide attempt.

Getting Over Jeff    "Getting Over Jeff." 12/08/17
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Erin Ehrlich

Rebecca accompanies Paula when she goes back to her hometown of Buffalo.

3x8 Promotional photo 13    "Nathaniel Needs My Help!" 01/05/18
Directed by: Jude Weng - Written by: Rachel Specter & Audrey Wauchope

Rebecca wonders if history is repeating itself as Darryl embraces a newfound superpower and Paula schemes again, this time for good.

3x9 Promotional photo    "Nathaniel Gets the Message!" 01/12/18
Directed by: Kabir Akhtar - Written by: Elisabeth Kiernan Averick

Rebecca discovers the powers and limitations of altruism as a new unexpected bromance forms between two other characters.

3x10 Promotional photo 1    "Oh Nathaniel, It's On!" 01/26/18
Directed by: Jude Weng - Written by: Sono Patel

Rebecca navigates major changes in her professional life and Heather gets a new opportunity.

3x11 Promotional photo 1    "Nathaniel and I Are Just Friends!" 02/02/18
Directed by: Erin Ehrlich - Written by: Rene Gube

Rebecca faces some fears in therapy while Paula brings a new friend to work.

3x12 Promotional photo 10 edit    "Trent?!" 02/09/18
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Dan Gregor and Doug Mand

Just as Rebecca tries to be more realistic and practical, Trent throws a wrench into her plans. At the same time Josh and Valencia reckon with their shared history.

3x13 Promotional photos 7    "Nathaniel Is Irrelevant." 02/16/18
Directed by: Aline Brosh McKenna - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna and Michael Hitchcock

When Rebecca decides to make amends for her past, she finds some unexpected challenges. At the same time, West Covina awaits an important new arrival.

veSeason Four Episodes
4x1 Promotional photo 11    "I Want To Be Here" 10/12/18
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Rachel Bloom

Rebecca confronts the consequences of her guilty plea while an angry Nathaniel seeks solace in a retreat and Josh searches for answers.

I Am Ashamed    "I Am Ashamed" 10/19/18
Directed by: Audrey Wauchope - Written by: Erin Ehrlich

Rebecca, Paula, Heather and Valencia participate in a séance after a spooky discovery. Darryl takes his parenting duties to an extreme, while Nathaniel is determined to prove to his father he's the best person to run the law firm.

I'm On My Own Path    "I'm On My Own Path" 10/26/18
Directed by: Jude Weng - Written by: Alden Derck

As Rebecca contemplates her feelings about her career, Paula is forced to deal with a big client. Josh tries to get back in the dating game, while Heather and Hector deal with insurance.

I'm Making Up For Lost Time    "I'm Making Up For Lost Time" 11/02/2018
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Elisabeth Kiernan Averick

As Rebecca contemplates her feelings about her career, Paula is forced to deal with a big client. Josh tries to get back in the dating game, while Heather and Hector deal with insurance.

I'm So Happy For You    "I'm So Happy For You" 11/09/2018
Directed by: Erin Ehrlich - Written by: Ilana Pena

Heather and Valencia both have changes in their lives which leaves Rebecca reeling. Meanwhile, Paula has to adjust to some good news/bad news from her eldest son.

I See You    "I See You" 11/16/2018
Directed by: Dan Gregor - Written by: Jack Dolgen

Rebecca gets more than she bargained for during a day out with Darryl. Josh lends a helping hand to Paula, while Heather encourages Nathaniel to be a nice person.

I Will Help You    "I Will Help You" 11/30/2018
Directed by: Kabir Akhtar - Written by: Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca takes a trip to visit her mother while back home Josh housesits. Nathaniel helps one of Paula’s clients in an effort to do something good.

4x8 Promotional photo 9    "I'm Not The Person I Used To Be" 12/07/2018
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Rene Gube

Greg returns to West Covina, which forces Rebecca to question things she thought she knew about people she has loved in her life. Meanwhile, Valencia and Josh make some shocking discoveries while at their high school reunion.

4x9 Promotional photo 5    "I Need Some Balance" 1/11/2019
Directed by: Kimmy Gatewood - Written by: Elizabeth Kiernan Averick

Rebecca starts dating again while two of her ex-boyfriends get acquainted.

4x10 Promotional photo 1    "I Can Work With You" 1/18/2019
Directed by: Kabir Akhtar - Written by: Rachel Specter & Audrey Wauchope

Rebecca agrees to help out Darryl by offering to babysit and an unexpected guest crashes the evening. Meanwhile, Paula throws a game night.

I'm Almost Over You    "I'm Almost Over You" 1/25/2019
Directed by: Erin Ehrlich - Written by: Michael Hitchcock

Rebecca tries to stick to her plan for happiness while Nathaniel and Maya bond over their feelings of unrequited love.

4x11 Promotional photo 9    "I Need A Break" 2/1/2019
Directed by: Jack Dolgen - Written by: Ilana Pena

When Rebecca and Greg take a day trip, things don’t go quite as planned. Meanwhile, Paula has an incredibly stressful week.

4x13 Promotional photo 7    "I Have To Get Out" 2/8/2019
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Rene Gube

Rebecca supports Paula in her time of need despite, her own personal challenges. Emotions run high when Greg, Josh and Nathaniel have an unfortunate encounter.

4x14 Promotional photo 5    "I'm Finding My Bliss" 3/15/2019
Directed by: Kabir - Written by: Elisabeth Kiernan Averick and Michael Hitchcock

Rebecca tries out for the local community theater, while Paula is courted by various law firms.

4x15 Promotional photo 1    "I Need to Find My Frenemy" 3/22/2019
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Alden Derck & Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca gets a call to help her old nemesis out of a complicated situation. Meanwhile, Nathaniel, Josh and Greg attempt to deal with their competing feelings for Rebecca.

I Have a Date Tonight    "I Have a Date Tonight" 3/29/2019
Directed by: Dan Gregor - Written by: Erin Ehrlich

Rebecca spends time with Nathaniel, Josh and Greg in an attempt to get clarity.

I'm In Love    "I'm In Love" 4/5/2019
Directed by: Aline Brosh McKenna - Written by: Rachel Bloom & Aline Brosh McKenna

Rebecca makes a life-changing decision about her future.

Yes, It’s Really Us Singing- The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Concert Special    "Yes, It’s Really Us Singing: The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Concert Special" 4/5/2019
Directed by: Marty Pasetta, Jr. - Written by: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger and Jack Dolgen

Rachel Bloom and the cast of the critically acclaimed series perform live versions of fan-favorite songs with incredible staging, multimedia visuals and a live band and orchestra.

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