I Gave You a UTI

I Gave You a UTI
Performer(s): Greg Serrano — First Appearance: "Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?"
Written by: Adam Schlesinger, Steven Gold, Rachel Bloom — Genre: Rhythm and blues/Gospel

I'm so good at sex your maiden ship got wrecked! My penis is the reason you may die, die, die! I gave you a UTI!

— Greg Serrano

"I Gave You a UTI" is a song performed by Greg Serrano. He was celebrating the fact that due to having had lots of sex with Rebecca he wound up giving her a UTI. The song was first heard in the Season One episode "Why Is Josh in a Bad Mood?". It is track number 23 on the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Original Television Soundtrack (Season 1 - Vol.2).

The song with lyrics[]

I_Gave_You_a_UTI_(feat._Santino_Fontana)

Lyrics:

Greg:
What's that burning feeling
every time you pee?

Well that's how it goes
after you have so
much awesome sex with me!

I gave you a UTI
Yeah I gave you...a UTI!
My sweet love injection
caused a urinary tract infection!

I'm just that good
I didn't even try, try, try

I gave you

a UTI!

Rebecca:
Okay, so it's not really a comment
on the quality of the sex as much as
a lot of sex has been happening and
there's just a very natural transfer
of bacteria...

Greg:
Don't ruin this for me!

That bladder inflammation
is my little gift to you!
Yeah sometimes chicks need
medication after what
I've put them through!

Come on, sing with me!

Rebecca:
No, I'm not going to do that.

Greg:
I gave you...
I gave you...
a UTI!

A UTI!

Greg:
Yeah I gave you...
[I gave you]

.. a UTI!

I'm so good at sex
your maiden ship got wrecked!

My penis is the reason
you may die, die, die!

I gave you a UTI!

One night with me is pure ecstasy
cause I know just what you like!
But you should know for a week or so
you won't be able to ride a bike!

I'm sorry if you have to cancel that
Spin class. I'll pay the cancellation fee
because I know a lot of times you have
to book the specific bike in advance.
Anyway...

I gave you...
I gave you
...a UTI!

A UTI!

Not a STD!'m
No STD's!
Just to clarify!

If it hurts to take a leak
well that's just part of my technique!
What has two thumbs
and gave you UTI?
This guy!

I gave you...
A UT...
I gave you..
A UT...
I gave you...
a U...T...I!!!

Notes[]

Inspiration[]

In an MTV online article "How Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is Reinventing the TV Musical the creative process in writing "I Gave You a UTI" is detailed. Rachel Bloom originally had the idea for the song in order to glorify something gross and mundane. It was conceived of as a soulful Barry White number but later changed to something more Rock inspired. The shows Music producer Adam Schlesinger's primary inspiration for the song was a 2015 Rhythm & Blues hit by Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats called "S.O.B". His song writing partner Steven Gold and Rachel Bloom worked on the lyrics.

Nathaniel_Rateliff_&_The_Night_Sweats_-_S.O.B._(Official)

Season 1 Songs
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs
🎈 "West Covina" 🎈 "The Sexy Getting Ready Song" 🎈 "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme" 🎈 "I'm So Good At Yoga" 🎈 "Feelin' Kinda Naughty" 🎈 "Face Your Fears" 🎈 "I Have Friends" 🎈 "A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes" 🎈 "Settle For Me" 🎈 "Sex with a Stranger"	🎈 "I Love My Daughter" 🎈 "I'm a Good Person" 🎈 "I Give Good Parent" 🎈 "What'll It Be" 🎈 "Sexy French Depression" 🎈 "His Status is...Preferred" 🎈 "Where's the Bathroom?" 🎈 "California Christmastime" 🎈 "Women Gotta Stick Together" 🎈 "Dear Joshua Felix Chan" 🎈 "Having a Few People Over"	🎈 "Put Yourself First" 🎈 "Textmergency" 🎈 "Where Is The Rock?" 🎈 "You Stupid Bitch" 🎈 "Group Hang" 🎈 "Romantic Moments" 🎈 "Cold Showers" 🎈 "JAP Battle" 🎈 "Flooded with Justice 🎈 "Gettin' Bi" 🎈 "I'm The Villain In My Own Story"	🎈 "Dream Ghost" 🎈 "I Could If I Wanted To" 🎈 "Clean Up on Aisle 4" 🎈 "Heavy Boobs" 🎈 "I Gave You a UTI" 🎈 "Angry Mad" 🎈 "Oh My God I Think I Like You" 🎈 "After Everything I've Done For You (That You Didn't Ask For)" 🎈 "One Indescribable Instant"
Season 2 Songs
🎈 "Love Kernels" 🎈 "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now" 🎈 "Just a Girl in Love" 🎈 "Maybe This Dream" 🎈 "Greg's Drinking Song" 🎈 "Ping Pong Girl" 🎈 "The Math of Love Triangles"	🎈 "It Was a S*** Show" 🎈 "We Tapped That Ass" 🎈 "Makey Makeover" 🎈 "Thought Bubbles" 🎈 "Triceratops Ballet" 🎈 "Friendtopia" 🎈 "Stuck in the Bathroom" 🎈 "Research Me Obsessively"	🎈 "You Go First" 🎈 "So Maternal" 🎈 "Duh!" 🎈 "Who's The New Guy?" 🎈 "George's Turn" 🎈 "We'll Never Have Problems Again" 🎈 "Remember That We Suffered"	🎈 "Santa Ana Winds" 🎈 "Let's Have Intercourse" 🎈 "You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)" 🎈 "Man Nap" 🎈 "(Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick" 🎈 "Period Sex" 🎈 "What a Rush to Be a Bride"
Season 3 Songs
🎈 "Where's Rebecca Bunch?" 🎈 "Let's Generalize About Men" 🎈 "You Do/You Don’t Want To Be Crazy" 🎈 “I've Got My Head In The Clouds” 🎈 “Strip Away My Conscience”	🎈 "The Buzzing From The Bathroom" 🎈 "The Moment Is Me" 🎈 “I Go To The Zoo” 🎈 "Scary Scary Sexy Lady" 🎈 "The End of The Movie" 🎈 "Maybe She's Not Such A Heinous Bitch After All" 🎈 "I Feel Like This Isn't About Me"	🎈 “A Diagnosis” 🎈 “This Is My Movement” 🎈 “First Penis I Saw” 🎈 “My Friend's Dad” 🎈 “My Sperm Is Healthy” 🎈 “George's Coffee Song” 🎈 “Get Your Ass Out Of My House” 🎈 “Without Love You Can Save the World”	🎈 “Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too” 🎈 “Horny Angry Tango” 🎈 “This Session Is Going to Be Different” 🎈 "Buttload Of Cats" 🎈 “Back In Action” 🎈 “The Miracle of Birth” 🎈 “Nothing is Ever Anyone's Fault”
Season 4 Songs
🎈 "What’s Your Story" 🎈 "No One Else Is Singing My Song" 🎈 "Maybe I'm Just Broken" 🎈 "Meet Rebecca!" 🎈 "Time To Seize The Day" 🎈 "The Cringe" 🎈 "Don't Be A Lawyer" 🎈 "Our Twisted Fate" 🎈 "I Want To Be A Child Star" 🎈 "I've Always Never Believed In You"	🎈 "The Group Mind Has Decided You're In Love" 🎈 "Trapped In A Car With Someone You Don't Want To Be Trapped In A Car With" 🎈 "Farewell, Fair Mustache" 🎈 "How To Clean Up" 🎈 "Forget It" 🎈 "If You Ever Need A Favor In Fifty Years" 🎈 "Hello, Nice To Meet You" 🎈 "What U Missed While U Were Popular"	🎈 "Hungry Vagina Metaphor" 🎈 "Itchy Vagina Metaphor" 🎈 "Funky Vagina Metaphor" 🎈 "Elated Vagina Metaphor" 🎈 "Nostalgia Cat song" 🎈 "Sports Analogies" 🎈 "Gratuitous Karaoke Moment" 🎈 "I Hate Everything But You" 🎈 "I'm Not Sad You're Sad" 🎈 "The Darkness" 🎈 "Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal"	🎈 "Real Life Fighting is Akward" 🎈 "Etta Mae's Lament" 🎈 "The Tick Tock Clock" 🎈 "I'm the Bride of the Pirate King" 🎈 "Apple Man" 🎈 "The Math of Love Quadrangles 🎈 "Slow Motion 🎈 "Love's Not A Game" 🎈 "There's No Bathroom" 🎈 "Eleven O'Clock"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Reprises
🎈 "West Covina (I)" 🎈 "West Covina (II)" 🎈 "Settle For Me (I)" 🎈 "Settle For Me (II)" 🎈 "I'm a Good Person (silent)" 🎈 "The Sexy Gonna Do It Song" 🎈 "Trent Is Getting Ready Song"	🎈 "I Have Friends (reprise)" 🎈 "Flooded with Justice (reprise) 🎈 "I Could If I Wanted To (reprise)" 🎈 "Thought Bubbles (reprise)" 🎈 "The Math of Love Triangles (reprise)" 🎈 "Rebecca's Reprise"	🎈"After Everything You Made Me Do (That You Didn’t Ask For)" 🎈"He's The New Guy" 🎈"Face Your Fears (reprise)" 🎈"I'm Just A Boy In Love" 🎈 "One Indescribable Instant (reprise)" 🎈 "Hello, Nice To Meet You (reprise)"	🎈 "Hello, Nice To Meet You (reprise 2)" 🎈 "End of the Movie (reprise)" 🎈"What'll It Be (reprise)" 🎈"Slow Motion (reprise)" 🎈 "JAP Battle (reprise)" 🎈"Love's Not A Game (Reprise)" 🎈"West Covina (Final Reprise)"
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Album Bonus tracks
🎈 "Sex Toys"	🎈 "It's Not Difficult To Define Miss Douche"	🎈 "Santa Ana Winds 6 A.M." (Demo)	🎈 "I'm Just A Girl In Love" (featuring Adam Schlesinger) 🎈 "Settle For Her" 🎈 I'm So Happy 4 U
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