Director: Kimmy Gatewood — Writer: Elizabeth Kiernan Averick Aired: January 11, 2018 — Season: 4 — Episode: 9 — Nielsen ratings: Description: Rebecca starts dating again while two of her ex-boyfriends get acquainted.
I can't do it! I can't do anything! All I can do is stand here watching two trains slowly collide!
At her house, Rebecca's attempt to watch online porn is thwarted by pop up ads. She goes to sleep only to have a dream about a Broadway inspired hungry cat (♫ Hungry Vagina Metaphor ♫). The next day at Home Base, WhiJo suggests Greg work out his Rebecca and Marco issues at the gym. At spin class, Rebecca tells Valencia she's trying to get back in shape so she can get laid. Rebecca mentions she already has a date lined up with Jason. Over at Mountaintop, Darryl returns to work from his leave of absence and is jealous when he finds his employees fawning over Bert. Nathaniel finds Darryl sulking later and after failing to cheer him up goes to the gym to workout where Greg is as well.
Meanwhile, Rebecca’s date with Jason at Home Base is going well until she starts itching in her nether regions. She excuses herself to use the bathroom and realizes she has a yeast infection due to using cheap sweatpants at spin class (♫ Itchy Vagina Metaphor ♫). At the gym, Greg and Nathaniel introduce themselves unaware they have a mutual acquaintance. Back at Home Base, Rebecca ends the date but assures Jason she wants to see him again in three days. At the law firm, Darryl is upset when Maya chooses to have wine time with Bert over Spice Girls karaoke with him. At Rebecca’s house she takes Josh’s advice to double down on her vaginal medicine to heal up in time for her next date with Jason.
At the gym, WhiJo is horrified to learn that Nathaniel and Greg are becoming friends. That night, Valencia visits Rebecca before her date with Jason and notices her friend smells bad. When Jason arrives Rebecca has Valencia distract him while she goes to the bathroom where she discovers her lady problems have gotten worse (♫ Funky Vagina Metaphor ♫). Unable to resolve the issue she gets Valencia to kick Jason out. Elsewhere, Darryl interrupts Bert’s work whine wine dinner to give gifts to their employees. He then gets everyone to abandon Bert by inviting them to go with him to Disneyland. The next day, Greg and Nathaniel are working out together at the gym as WhiJo and Vic look on.
When Greg mentions wanting to reopen his father's restaurant as part of his graduate thesis Nathaniel offers to help with the zoning laws. They leave before WhiJo can tell them the truth. Elsewhere, Valencia convinces Rebecca to be honest with Jason and after texting him an explanation he makes another date with her. At the law firm, Darryl and Bert's arguing leads to a physical fight which Paula breaks up. That night, Paula calls an inptomptu gathering of the staff and calls in Father Brah to help mediate the situation. After some discussion Brah is able to resolve the issues between Bert and Darryl. Over at Rebecca's house, she and Jason are about to get intimate (♫ Elated Vagina Metaphor ♫).
Unbeknownst to them they are about to have visitors; earlier Nathaniel and Greg agreed to go see thier respective former girlfriends and tell them they want to get back together. They both individually arrive at the house only to realize they are Rebecca's exes. WhiJo quickly arrives and then departs when he sees his friends finally know the truth. Inside, Josh Chan thinks the pair are feral cats and goes to confront them in his underwear. Rebecca hears the commotion outside and is shocked to find all of her exes on the porch. She demands an explanation but Nathaniel and Greg leave as does Jason who has had enough. Later at Il Cabana, Rebecca has a drink with Valencia wondering what just happened.
"Hungry Vagina Metaphor" Performed by: Hungry Cat Writers: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, and Adam Schlesinger
A figment of Rebecca Bunch's imagination tells her she needs to get laid.
"Itchy Vagina Metaphor" Performed by: Itchy Cat Writers: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, and Adam Schlesinger
A figment of Rebecca Bunch's imagination tells her she has a yeast infection.
"Funky Vagina Metaphor" Performed by: Funky Cat Writers: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, and Adam Schlesinger
A figment of Rebecca Bunch's imagination tells her she’s smelling foul in her nether regions.
"Elated Vagina Metaphor" Performed by: Elated Cat Writers: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, and Adam Schlesinger
A figment of Rebecca Bunch's imagination is enthused that she is about to have sex with a Jason.
"Nostalgia Cat song" Performed by: Nostalgia Cat Writers: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, and Adam Schlesinger
A figment of Rebecca Bunch's imagination recalls the times when she used to have sex.
In the episode, Maya mentions actor Neil Patrick Harris who hosted the Tony awards several times. She referenced a tweet he sent during the 2018 Tony Awards in which he asked derogatorily who a certain backstage interviewer was . This just happened to be star and co-creator of "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" Rachel Bloom. She replied to his tweet that same night explaining that they had met years before when her husband Dan Gregor used to write for his show "How I Met Your Mother." The next day Harris issued a public apology on Twitter which Bloom accepted .
Directed by: Audrey Wauchope - Written by: Erin Ehrlich
Rebecca, Paula, Heather and Valencia participate in a séance after a spooky discovery. Darryl takes his parenting duties to an extreme, while Nathaniel is determined to prove to his father he's the best person to run the law firm.
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Rene Gube
Greg returns to West Covina, which forces Rebecca to question things she thought she knew about people she has loved in her life. Meanwhile, Valencia and Josh make some shocking discoveries while at their high school reunion.
"I Need Some Balance"
Directed by: Kimmy Gatewood - Written by: Elizabeth Kiernan Averick
Rebecca starts dating again while two of her ex-boyfriends get acquainted.