FANDOM


I Want To Be A Child Star

I Want To Be A Child Star
Performer(s): Tucker BunchFirst Appearance: "I'm Making Up For Lost Time"
Written by: Adam Schlesinger & Jack Dolgen


"I Want To Be A Child Star" is a musical performance by Tucker Bunch. It debuted in the Season Four Episode "I'm Making Up For Lost Time."

Song and lyricsEdit

I Want To Be A Child Star - feat

I Want To Be A Child Star - feat. Luca Padovan - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

Lyrics:

Tucker:
EVERY NIGHT, I LIE AWAKE
DREAMING OF MY BIG BREAK
I JUST GOTTA ACT AND DANCE AND SING
‘CAUSE I ONLY EVER WANTED ONE THING

I WANT TO BE A PRE-TEEN HOLLYWOOD TRAIN WRECK
A CAUTIONARY TALE
I WANT THE KIND OF FAME THAT’LL WARP MY BRAIN
AND EVENTUALLY LAND ME IN JAIL

I WANT TO SUE MY PARENTS FOR EMANCIPATION
AFTER THEY GET CAUGHT STEALING FROM ME
I WANT TO BE ON THE SET OF THE WALKING DEAD
WHEN I LOSE MY VIRGINITY

I WANT TO BE A

Tucker & Child Stars:
CHILD STAR

Tucker:
IT’S GONNA BE BAD

Tucker & Child Stars:
CHILD STAR

Tucker:
IT’S GONNA BE SAD, OH YEAH

CHILDHOOD IS OVERRATED
I’M READY FOR MINE TO END
I WANT TO HAVE AGENTS AND ASSISTANTS
INSTEAD OF ACTUAL FRIENDS

I’LL BE ABUSIVE AND EMOTIONALLY STUNTED
BUT EVERYONE WILL TOLERATE ME
THEY’LL HAVE NO CHOICE BECAUSE MY FACE AND MY VOICE
MAKE THEM ALL SO MUCH MONEY

I WANT TO HAVE A TEENAGE HOLLYWOOD MELTDOWN
BE A POP CULTURE CASUALTY
I WANT A BUNCH OF ADDICTIONS TO ILLEGAL PRESCRIPTIONS
AND COMPLETELY LOSE TOUCH WITH REALITY

I WANT TO SQUANDER EVERYTHING I’VE WORKED FOR

AND SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL
I WANT TO WAKE UP IN VAN NUYS WITH A BUNCH SKETCHY GUYS
I’VE NEVER EVEN MET BEFORE

I WANT TO BE A

Tucker & Child Stars:
CHILD STAR

Tucker:
Who are you guys?

Tucker & Child Stars:
CHILD STAR

Child Star 1:
Can I have some more money?

Tucker:
Oh, baby, I’ve hit rock bottom. I can’t live like this. It’s time to get my act together. Refocus on my passion.

I WANT TO BE A DESPERATE HOLLYWOOD HAS-BEEN
A CLASSIC “WHERE ARE THEY NOW?”
I’LL TRY TO CLEAN UP MY ACT AND GET MY AGENT BACK
AND SALVAGE MY REPUTATION SOMEHOW

I’LL DO A LOT OF COMMUNITY SERVICE
AND APOLOGIZE TO MERYL STREEP
I WANT TO BE THAT FORMER CHILD STAR THAT YOU’LL SEE IN BARS
AND SAY, “HEY! THERE’S THAT BLOATED BANKRUPT CREEP!”

Tucker & Child Stars:
CHILD STAR!


Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs
Season 1 Songs

🎈 "West Covina"
🎈 "The Sexy Getting Ready Song"
🎈 "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme"
🎈 "I'm So Good At Yoga"
🎈 "Feelin' Kinda Naughty"
🎈 "Face Your Fears"
🎈 "I Have Friends"
🎈 "A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes"
🎈 "Settle For Me"
🎈 "Sex with a Stranger"

🎈 "I Love My Daughter"
🎈 "I'm a Good Person"
🎈 "I Give Good Parent"
🎈 "What'll It Be"
🎈 "Sexy French Depression"
🎈 "His Status is...Preferred"
🎈 "Where's the Bathroom?"
🎈 "California Christmastime"
🎈 "Women Gotta Stick Together"
🎈 "Dear Joshua Felix Chan"
🎈 "Having a Few People Over"

🎈 "Put Yourself First"
🎈 "Textmergency"
🎈 "Where Is The Rock?"
🎈 "You Stupid Bitch"
🎈 "Group Hang"
🎈 "Romantic Moments"
🎈 "Cold Showers"
🎈 "JAP Battle"
🎈 "Flooded with Justice
🎈 "Gettin' Bi"
🎈 "I'm The Villain In My Own Story"

🎈 "Dream Ghost"
🎈 "I Could If I Wanted To"
🎈 "Clean Up on Aisle 4"
🎈 "Heavy Boobs"
🎈 "I Gave You a UTI"
🎈 "Angry Mad"
🎈 "Oh My God I Think I Like You"
🎈 "After Everything I've Done For You (That You Didn't Ask For)"
🎈 "One Indescribable Instant"

Season 2 Songs

🎈 "Love Kernels"
🎈 "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now"
🎈 "Just a Girl in Love"
🎈 "Maybe This Dream"
🎈 "Greg's Drinking Song"
🎈 "Ping Pong Girl"
🎈 "The Math of Love Triangles"

🎈 "It Was a S*** Show"
🎈 "We Tapped That Ass"
🎈 "Makey Makeover"
🎈 "Thought Bubbles"
🎈 "Triceratops Ballet"
🎈 "Friendtopia"
🎈 "Stuck in the Bathroom"
🎈 "Research Me Obsessively"

🎈 "You Go First"
🎈 "So Maternal"
🎈 "Duh!"
🎈 "Who's The New Guy?"
🎈 "George's Turn"
🎈 "We'll Never Have Problems Again"
🎈 "Remember That We Suffered"

🎈 "Santa Ana Winds"
🎈 "Let's Have Intercourse"
🎈 "You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)"
🎈 "Man Nap"
🎈 "(Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick"
🎈 "Period Sex"
🎈 "What a Rush to Be a Bride"

Season 3 Songs

🎈 "Where's Rebecca Bunch?"
🎈 "Let's Generalize About Men"
🎈 "You Do/You Don’t Want To Be Crazy"
🎈I've Got My Head In The Clouds
🎈Strip Away My Conscience

🎈 "The Buzzing From The Bathroom"
🎈 "The Moment Is Me"
🎈I Go To The Zoo
🎈 "Scary Scary Sexy Lady"
🎈 "The End of The Movie"
🎈 "Maybe She's Not Such A Heinous Bitch After All"
🎈 "I Feel Like This Isn't About Me"

🎈A Diagnosis
🎈This Is My Movement
🎈First Penis I Saw
🎈My Friend's Dad
🎈My Sperm Is Healthy
🎈George's Coffee Song
🎈Get Your Ass Out Of My House
🎈Without Love You Can Save the World

🎈Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too
🎈Horny Angry Tango
🎈This Session Is Going to Be Different
🎈 "Buttload Of Cats"
🎈Back In Action
🎈The Miracle of Birth
🎈Nothing is Ever Anyone's Fault

Season 4 Songs

🎈 "What’s Your Story"
🎈 "No One Else Is Singing My Song"
🎈 "Maybe I'm Just Broken"
🎈 "Meet Rebecca!"
🎈 "Time To Seize The Day"
🎈 "The Cringe"
🎈 "Don't Be A Lawyer"
🎈 "Our Twisted Fate"
🎈 "I Want To Be A Child Star"
🎈 "I've Always Never Believed In You"

🎈 "The Group Mind Has Decided You're In Love"
🎈 "Trapped In A Car With Someone You Don't Want To Be Trapped In A Car With"
🎈 "Farewell, Fair Mustache"
🎈 "How To Clean Up"
🎈 "Forget It"
🎈 "If You Ever Need A Favor In Fifty Years"
🎈 "Hello, Nice To Meet You"
🎈 "What U Missed While U Were Popular"

🎈 "Hungry Vagina Metaphor"
🎈 "Itchy Vagina Metaphor"
🎈 "Funky Vagina Metaphor"
🎈 "Elated Vagina Metaphor"
🎈 "Nostalgia Cat song"
🎈 "Sports Analogies"
🎈 "Gratuitous Karaoke Moment"
🎈 "I Hate Everything But You"
🎈 "I'm Not Sad You're Sad"
🎈 "The Darkness"
🎈 "Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal"

🎈 "Real Life Fighting is Akward"
🎈 "Etta Mae's Lament"
🎈 "The Tick Tock Clock"
🎈 "I'm the Bride of the Pirate King"
🎈 "Apple Man"
🎈 "The Math of Love Quadrangles
🎈 "Slow Motion
🎈 "Love's Not A Game"
🎈 "There's No Bathroom"
🎈 "Eleven O'Clock"

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Reprises

🎈 "West Covina (I)"
🎈 "West Covina (II)"
🎈 "Settle For Me (I)"
🎈 "Settle For Me (II)"
🎈 "I'm a Good Person (silent)"
🎈 "The Sexy Gonna Do It Song"
🎈 "Trent Is Getting Ready Song"

🎈 "I Have Friends (reprise)"
🎈 "Flooded with Justice (reprise)
🎈 "I Could If I Wanted To (reprise)"
🎈 "Thought Bubbles (reprise)"
🎈 "The Math of Love Triangles (reprise)"
🎈 "Rebecca's Reprise"

🎈"After Everything You Made Me Do (That You Didn’t Ask For)"
🎈"He's The New Guy"
🎈"Face Your Fears (reprise)"
🎈"I'm Just A Boy In Love"
🎈 "One Indescribable Instant (reprise)"
🎈 "Hello, Nice To Meet You (reprise)"

🎈 "Hello, Nice To Meet You (reprise 2)"
🎈 "End of the Movie (reprise)"
🎈"What'll It Be (reprise)"
🎈"Slow Motion (reprise)"
🎈 "JAP Battle (reprise)"
🎈"Love's Not A Game (Reprise)"
🎈"West Covina (Final Reprise)"

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Album Bonus tracks

🎈 "Sex Toys"

🎈 "It's Not Difficult To Define Miss Douche"

🎈 "Santa Ana Winds 6 A.M." (Demo)

🎈 "I'm Just A Girl In Love" (featuring Adam Schlesinger)

🎈 "Settle For Her"
🎈 I'm So Happy 4 U

CharactersEpisodesLocationsCast
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.