Love Kernels

Love Kernels
Performer(s): Rebecca Bunch — First Appearance: "Where is Josh's Friend?"
— Genre: Alternative/Progressive R&B

A slow jam about the morsels of attention that Rebecca misinterprets as declarations of devotions.

— Entertainment Weekly, 2016 Fall preview

Love Kernels is a song sung by Rebecca Bunch about her new relationship with the object of her affection Josh Chan. It's first appearance is in the Season Two episode "Where is Josh's Friend?".

Song and lyrics

Lyrics: How do I know he loves me? It's the little things. Little compliments here and there that I'll secretly stockpile in my woman brain. I can live for days off a single: "You really listen to me." I'm like a sexy fashion cactus. Living from compliment to compliment. Hint to hint. Storing them in my body for long periods of drought. I may look dry but if you cut me open, you'll find only water inside. Incidentally that's also a useful fact on how to survive in the desert. But how do I know he loves me? I guess the only way to prove it is with abstract symbolism. "Those jeans are cute." "Want some of my smoothie?" "Wait. You should put this pillow under your knees first." He gives me love kernels! Each little crumb a little tasty clue! Love kernels! Cause if you read between the lines he saying "I love you"! Love kernels! Save those kernels up to make a bowl of popcorn! Love kernels! A handful is the proper serving anyway. I know when you say: "I want to go to Colorado sometime." It means you're thinking 'bout the future with me! I know a 3:00 AM text means I was in your dreams before you woke up to pee! It's a 3:00 AM subtext! And I know you care when you say I'm going to a movie tonight, my friend bailed wanna come? It means I'm the most important person in his life...next to his friend! But he's known his friend since he was five so that's saying a lot...Hey, rude! I'd do anything for those love droplets! Like a hamster in a cage! Slurp, slurp! Love droplets! Each a letter on a page in the novel of our love! Love droplets! Falling down from the sky...and when I mix it in with the tears I cry it makes a full glass of water! God, I'm thirsty after all that popcorn! I'll be patient until the droplets become a river that needs a dam! I'll be patient until the kernels rain down like candy on Shaquille O'Neal from the movie "Kazam"! Whatever you got I'll take it baby. "What are you up to today?" I'll take it. "Your house smells like lemon." I'll take it. "Where's my phone?" It's a stretch but I'll take that too. I'll take all your love kernels! This video ate up our production budget. Love kernels! We used up literally every cent. Love kernels! Darryl is now played by a broom on a stand. But like your love kernels we'll do our best with what we have.

Notes

Meta reference

In a January 2017 interview with with Vulture.com Rachel Bloom was asked about a particular lyric in the song:

Gazelle Emami: One of my favorite songs from this season is in the premiere, “Love Kernels,” in which you joke about how you blew the show’s production budget on making that song. Is there any truth to that?

Rachel Bloom: Yes, 100 percent. That was a big swing because that’s the most meta we have been so far, but with the musical numbers you can get a bit meta. But yes, that number was expensive — we went out to the desert for a day in preproduction to film those sweeping desert scenes, we built another set on stage with all that lavish, beautiful furniture. The costumes alone, I mean especially that cactus costume, it’s expensive. And it’s a lot of work.

Production storyboards

Homage

"Love Kernels" is an homage to singer Beyoncé Knowles 2016 album "Lemonade". It is a concept album with songs that span a variety of genres and includes spoken word prose and poetry.

"Lemonade" Album cover