Just saw Josh, he looked so 🔥 that I almost 😵. I ❤️ him so much and I think he ❤️ me too. God, I can't wait until we're finally together and I can stop lying and tell him I love him and moved here for him
— Rebecca's text message
Paula and Scott Proctor are at Our Lady of West Covina inside the church office of Father Brah seeking guidance over their marital problems. Paula insists she wants to forget about claims she made to Scott that she was unhappy. Father Brah tells her negativity in any relationship needs to be resolved not suppressed. He suggests they have a romantic dinner date together so they can reconnect. Meanwhile, Rebecca is getting ready for work at her apartment when Greg unexpectedly drops by. He's there to pick up a computer hard drive she is lending to his girlfriend and her neighbor Heather. Things are awkward between them due to recent events. Rebecca heads to Cup of boba to grab a drink and review notes for a meeting she has at the law firm.
As she's going over the case Josh surprises her much to her delight. At the meeting in the conference room, Rebecca texts Paula while the opposing counsel presents her case. She then discovers she sent the message, which detailed her love for Josh, to Josh himself. When Paula finds this out she calls an end to the meeting and explains the situation to everyone. As they are all good friends of Paula they volunteer to help including Judge Harry Spencer (♫ Textmergency ♫). Remembering that Josh mentioned he left his phone at home Rebecca decides to go to his place and delete the message. Paula tells her she can't go because of her dinner date with her husband and Rebecca races off in her car alone with a police escort provided by the Judge.
She sneaks into Josh and Valencia's apartment complex and enters thier place with a spare key they hid. Rebecca deletes the cell phone message but is caught inside the apartment by Josh who arrives home. Rebecca quickly spins an elaborate lie about coming to his place since hers had just been broken into. While he gets changed to help her sort out the situation Rebecca calls Paula. She asks her to throw a rock through her patio door to authenticate her story. Paula is about to leave but is stopped by Scott. He demands an explanation for her recent strange behavior involving frequent phone calls and sneaking off at odd hours. She refuses to explain but in order to quell his suspicions invites him to go with her.
As Rebecca stalls in order to give them more time, the Proctors make it to her place. At Paula's urging Scott throws a rock through the patio door. Rebecca and Josh arrive to find the mess and she uses it as an opportunity to have some alone time with him. Thier conversation is interrupted by a cop who was answering a call Josh put into the police department. Rebecca comes up with another elaborate lie which both confuses and convinces the officer to leave without filing a report. At the same time the Proctors are celebrating a job well done and the two confess to each other affairs they nearly had. Paula also comes clean about helping Rebecca with her love life and tells Scott the whole story (♫ Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme Song ♫).
Back at Rebecca's apartment she and Josh are cleaning up the broken glass when he discovers the rock Scott threw (♫ Where is the Rock? ♫). It turns out it was a decorative stone from a set of three which was on Rebecca's coffee table. Josh slowly put the pieces together realizing that Rebecca had lied to him the entire time. He refuses to listen to another one of her convoluted explanations and can barely look at her. After he leaves the Fondu delivery man arrives with a dinner order Rebecca placed for them. Rebecca is devastated believing she ruined her chances with Josh (♫ You Stupid Bitch ♫). As she is lost in thought, Greg passes by her backyard having just left Heather's place. He notices the mess and rushes with concern to Rebecca who asks him to keep her company.
Greg is happy to until he notices the Fondu order has Josh's name on it. Realizing he is in the aftermath of another scheme of Rebecca's he angrilly departs. Meanwhile the Proctors unexpectedly bond over the drama in Rebecca's love life which rekindles a spark of romance in thier own relationship. The next day Paula finds Rebecca despondent at Cup of boba. She is unwilling to elaborate on what happened except to say she ruins everything. Paula rejects her assertion since she played a huge part in saving her marriage. She tells her that whatever seems insurmountable now is only a minor setback in the grand scheme of things. Paula also promises she'll always be there to help her through those rough times.
Judge Spencer gets chewed out by his superior for giving Rebecca a police escort to erase a text. When asked if he was okay he admits he left his wife for a prostitute.
Judge Spencer gets chewed out.
When the police officer arrives at Rebecca's House, she cites two sections of California Penal Code to the officer. She cites section 459, which she correctly cites as burglary, but she also cites 596, claiming it is vandalism. The actual section is "Malicious Mischief," and specifically deals with the poisoning of animals.
Recurring themes[]
Songs[]
Episode songs
"Textmergency" Performed by: Connie Cavanagh, Judge Harry, Connie's client, Rebecca's client Writers: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger
Rebecca imagines a 1980's hair band cheering her in to delete a text she sent Josh.
"Where Is The Rock?" Performed by: Connie Cavanagh, Judge Harry, Connie's client, Rebecca's client Writers: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger
Rebecca imagines a 1980's hair band warning her that Josh is about to figure out she lied to him.
"You Stupid Bitch" Performed by: Rebecca Bunch Writers: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger
Rebecca berates herself for having possibly ruined any chances she had with Josh.
Rebecca's backstory is recapped twice within the episode by Paula; the first time at the meeting at the law firm and the second time to her husband Scott (see "Meta references")
Scott Proctor mentions Paula some time ago was dressed up fancy and told him she was unhappy with her marriage. Paula brings this up again later admitting she almost had an affair with a wealthy client of the law firm. Both are references to the previous episode "I'm So Happy That Josh Is So Happy!".
No: Rebecca says the word in a long drawn out manner after realizing she sent Josh a loaded text regarding her feelings for him.
I left my wife for a prostitute: The judge admits he helped Rebecca in her Textmergency because he sympathized with her situation as he made a poor choice himself of leaving his wife for a prostitute.
Pop culture references[]
Meta references[]
Towards the end of the episode Scott and Paula Proctor are having a conversation about Rebecca which is actually the lyrics to the show's theme song. When they are done the title card appears.
Rebecca, unsatisfied with Paula's ideas to build a case against Josh, turns to Nathaniel for help crafting a truly evil plan. Meanwhile, Josh finds becoming a priest is harder than he thought.
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Dan Gregor and Doug Mand
Just as Rebecca tries to be more realistic and practical, Trent throws a wrench into her plans. At the same time Josh and Valencia reckon with their shared history.
Directed by: Audrey Wauchope - Written by: Erin Ehrlich
Rebecca, Paula, Heather and Valencia participate in a séance after a spooky discovery. Darryl takes his parenting duties to an extreme, while Nathaniel is determined to prove to his father he's the best person to run the law firm.
As Rebecca contemplates her feelings about her career, Paula is forced to deal with a big client. Josh tries to get back in the dating game, while Heather and Hector deal with insurance.
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Elisabeth Kiernan Averick
As Rebecca contemplates her feelings about her career, Paula is forced to deal with a big client. Josh tries to get back in the dating game, while Heather and Hector deal with insurance.
Directed by: Erin Ehrlich - Written by: Ilana Pena
Heather and Valencia both have changes in their lives which leaves Rebecca reeling. Meanwhile, Paula has to adjust to some good news/bad news from her eldest son.
Rebecca gets more than she bargained for during a day out with Darryl. Josh lends a helping hand to Paula, while Heather encourages Nathaniel to be a nice person.
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Rene Gube
Greg returns to West Covina, which forces Rebecca to question things she thought she knew about people she has loved in her life. Meanwhile, Valencia and Josh make some shocking discoveries while at their high school reunion.
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Rene Gube
Rebecca supports Paula in her time of need despite, her own personal challenges. Emotions run high when Greg, Josh and Nathaniel have an unfortunate encounter.
Directed by: Stuart McDonald - Written by: Alden Derck & Aline Brosh McKenna
Rebecca gets a call to help her old nemesis out of a complicated situation. Meanwhile, Nathaniel, Josh and Greg attempt to deal with their competing feelings for Rebecca.
Directed by: Marty Pasetta, Jr. - Written by: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger and Jack Dolgen
Rachel Bloom and the cast of the critically acclaimed series perform live versions of fan-favorite songs with incredible staging, multimedia visuals and a live band and orchestra.
