The Cringe Performer(s): J. Castleman, Rebecca, Valencia, Heather and Paula. — First Appearance: "I Am Ashamed" Written by: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, & Adam Schlesinger
And when that memory fills me with horror and dread? I do "The Cringe" !
— Castleman
"The Cringe" is a song sung by J. Castleman, Rebecca, Valencia, Heather and Paula. In it Castleman tells the women the most horrifying thing he’s ever experienced. It debuted in the Season Four Episode "I Am Ashamed."
Song and lyrics[]
Castleman:
Some people are scared
of goblins and ghosts.
They shriek at a raven
perched on a post.
'Oh no!' they cry,
it’s a spooky black hat
but there are so many things
far more frightening than that.
Like when I asked a woman
I hadn’t seen in awhile
how long she’d been pregnant
and there went her smile.
Turns out she’d just gained weight
'I’m so sorry" I said!
And when that memory fills me
with horror and dread?
I do "The Cringe" !
Heather, Valencia and Paula:
Ugh!
Castleman:
I do "The Cringe"!
Heather, Valencia and Paula:
Oooh!
Castleman:
Arghh!
Heather, Valencia and Paula:
More than a twinge!
Castleman:
The thought leaves me aghast!
Because nothing is as scary
as what lurks in your past!
Hahahahahahaha!
Whoooooooooooo!
Valencia:
Banshees and ghouls
can give a good fright!
Paula:
But that’s not what
keeps me up at night!
Heather:
I think about that time
in bed with my ex
when I chuckled at his penis
during sex!
All:
She does "The Cringe"!
Heather:
It was a full blown laugh.
All:
She does "The Cringe"!
Heather:
It looked like a cute little puppet.
All:
She does "The Cringe"!
Heather:
He went soft and cried!
Maile zombie #1:
And that was the night
their relationship died!
All:
Whoa-o-o-oh!
Woooooooooo!
Male zombie #2:
I told a date I'd lost my wallet
so she would pay!
Female zombie #1:
I hooked up with the bassist
of Sugar Ray!
Male zombie #3:
I got an angel tattoo on my
upper thigh!
Female zombie #2
I gave my mothers eulogy
completely high!
Female zombie #3:
See everyone has sins
they want to wash away!
Male zombie #4:
I came up with the town motto
'Live, work, play'!
All:
We do "The Cringe"!
Male zombie #4:
It was not my best work.
All:
We do "The Cringe"!
Male zombie #4:
In fairness I...I was also high.
All:
We do "The Cringe"!
Castleman:
Regret can be a blast!
When nothing gets as funky
as what lives in your past!
Zombie #3:
Wait! Aren’t you the guy who murdered me?!
Rebecca:
What?
Castleman:
Nothing!
All:
The Cringe!
Notes[]
Homage[]
The song "The Cringe" is clearly inspired by the 1962 tune called "The Monster Mash" which was written and originally performed by Bobby "Boris" Pickett.
