We Tapped That Ass

We Tapped That Ass
Performer(s): Josh Chan and Greg Serrano — First Appearance: "When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?"
Written by: Adam Schlesinger, Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen — Genre: Tap Number

On the accent wall! On the bathroom floor! You didn't care where...you just wanted more!

— Josh and Greg

We Tapped That Ass is a musical performance imagined by Rebecca Bunch performed by her ex-lovers Josh Chan and Greg Serrano. In this song she fantasizes that both men are mocking her about the many times they had sex with her in her apartment. The song first debuted in the Season Two episode "When Will Josh and His Friend Leave Me Alone?". It is track number 11 on the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Original Television Soundtrack (Season 1 - Vol.2).

Song and lyrics

Lyrics: Josh: I banged you here. Greg: I nailed you there. Josh: And on this couch. Greg: And in this chair. Josh: In the doorway. Greg: The hallway. Josh: On every stair. Josh and Greg: We tapped that Ass all over this house. Greg: Sometimes him, sometimes me. Josh: Though never simultaneously. Greg: But one of us was hittin' it usually. Josh and Greg: We tapped that Ass all over this house. You'll never escape us Because we live in your head! Just two swell dudes that you screwed... Greg: Here! Josh: And there! Josh: And here! Greg: And there! Josh and Greg: And occasionally in your bed! Josh: That bed is really uncomfortable! Greg: Right? It's like a prison cot! Josh: On the stove. Greg: Over the sink. Josh: And sort of in the fridge one time I think. Greg: And then we hit the back patio! Josh: That's where we hit your back pati... Josh and Greg: OHHHH! Josh and Greg: We tapped that Ass all over this house! How many times did we tap that behind? Greg: Well, lets estimate! Josh: On an average day I would have to say mmm....5, 6, 7, 8! Greg: What...too cheeky? Josh: Hey, does this ring a bell? [imitating Rebecca] A little to the left. Greg: [imitating Rebecca] Oh, okay now, a little to the right. Josh: [imitating Rebecca] A little to the left. Oh, oh, oh wait! Back to the left! Greg: [imitating Rebecca] Oh, oh, right there, right there! Josh: [imitating Rebecca] Wait no! You're doing it wrong! I'll do it myself! Greg: Barkeep...what's on tap? Rebecca: It's me, it's my ass. Greg: Ooh! Sounds refreshing! Josh: On the table you were willing and able! Greg: On the ottoman you took a lot of man! Josh: And in the safe in the closet I made a deposit! Xander: I also tapped that Ass all over this house! Josh: Let's wrap this up with a big finish! Greg: But where should we finish? Rebecca: Please, not on my chest! No, you'll scratch it! Greg: On the accent wall! Josh: On the bathroom floor! Greg: You didn't care where... Josh: You just wanted more! Josh and Greg': How much tapping could one ass endure? We tapped that ass... [tapped that ass] We tapped that ass.... [tapped that ass] We tapped that ass... All over this house!

Notes

Homage

The song and dance in "We Tapped That Ass" was an homage to the 1952 film "Singin' In the Rain", specifically a scene where the song "Moses" was performed. This was a sequence in which actors Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly sang and tapped danced together.